Moving on from a breakup is a difficult process. Following the shock of the initial separation are feelings of anger, sadness, and grief that is often crippling and mind numbing. The pain of a breakup is so profound that it sometimes leaves us not knowing what to do next.
Though there are no one pill medicine to soothe out a broken heart, there are certain ways that will help you move on and heal faster.
Here are 10 ways to help you deal with heartbreak
1. Steer clear and keep distance.
After the initial shock of the breakup, and on occasions the somewhat empty promise to remain friends. It is important to remember to distance yourself from them. No communication whatsoever including calls, texts and IM’s. Even contact with the same friends or families should be avoided. It doesn’t mean that you have to avoid them forever, but it is important to keep the away for a while in order for you to heal your heart and move on.
2. Surround yourself with support
When hurting, it is easy to distance yourself from others and just sleep the pain away. You begin to question your self-worth. Are you really good enough? However, it is important that you surround yourself with positivity and people who support you fully. Not only will this help you in moving on from your ex but it will also be good for your bruised ego as it reinforces your self-concept and rebuilds your self-worth.
3. Manage your anger and avoid lashing out
People deal with anger differently. Some people deal with it with grace and passiveness that epitomizes maturity. There are also people who would burn closets worth of clothes, destroy furniture and memorabilia, cut out and shred album after album of photos, lash out at friends who mentions something triggering and on occasions, come up to their ex and make a scene.
It is important to find a way to deal with the anger of a breakup. Some can easily fall the deep end and resort to alcohol and drugs. One healthy way of coping is to try and write a journal of everything negative in the relationship. This way, not only are you letting your hidden frustrations and anger out, it can also help justify the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place.
4. Feel your emotions and deal with them
It’s a natural reaction to push everything down and pretend that nothing happened. Because whether we like it or not, the world doesn’t stop if we are hurt. After a breakup, it is important to remember that as humans, we feel. The anger, the pain, the confusion, the frustration and the worry that you are not enough and you may never be happy again.
Acknowledging these emotions are frightening, however, it is necessary to face them, sift through them and deal with them in order to move on. Set time to grieve the relationship for what it was and what it should have been. Cry and mope, but don’t let the negative emotions consume you and hold you back from living your life.
5. Talk it out
There are certain days were the overwhelming feeling of pain and loneliness reaches its limits. You feel hopeless at the same time you feel like your chest is going to burst. Many people are capable of bouncing back from a breakup on their own. But this isn’t possible for most. Some people have trouble coping with their emotions and will need someone to talk to. It can be a parent, a friend or in most cases, a therapist.
While it is painful, talking about the relationship and the realizations after the relationship is quite helpful in sorting out emotions. If you are having trouble coping and feel that you are depressed, seek help immediately.
6. Self-reflection
Even if you enjoyed each other’s company, something probably went wrong along the way. Thinking of the reasons why the relationship failed can help you realize mistakes you probably made and help you understand where and why the relationship did not work out. This can also help to avoid making the same mistakes in future relationships.
By this time, it is important to take good care of yourself. Take a look in the mirror and learn more about yourself. You might realize something you never thought possible.
7. Organize your living space
Seeing things the two of you shared will bring forth torrents of tears and painful memories. To remedy this, you can change things up and redecorate your environment. It can be as simple as rearranging the sofa and coffee table to painting the whole room a different color and changing the drapes. Remove painful triggers that remind you of the past. Regardless if your home reminds you of your past lover, it is important to acknowledge change. Embrace it and accept it to learn from it.
8. Go out and have fun
Sometimes, it is easy to forget that there is a whole world outside of our own. While breakups suck, and feels like it’s the end of the world, it is important to not let yourself be eaten by the negativity of it.
Eat meals with your family. Go and hang out with friends, Jog around the block or just meet new people and dogs out in the park. Go out and have fun!
9. Beware of rebound relationships
Rebound simply doesn’t work most of the time. For some people, jumping in on another relationship just shortly after a breakup is simply a way of masking the negative emotions. It may sound nice to be embraced and appreciated by another person, but ultimately, when the relationship fails the amount of negative emotions you have to deal with will double.
It is important to settle things first and remain single to reflect on yourself and the relationship before jumping in on an unsteady relationship. Have fun and mingle but don’t commit too easily.
10. Stand by your decision
Regardless if it was you or them that chose to end the relationship, it is important to stand by the breakup and respect the decision to separate. It is easy to focus on the good side of the relationship and completely dismiss the negative side. However, it is the balance of looking at the relationship with objective eyes that help rationalize the breakup. Cherish the good moments you had with each other. Learn from the painful mistakes you did together. Accept the situation and move forward with your life. Greater things wait for those who strive.
Remember, a broken heart is a painful ordeal that affects us at one time or another. It is perfectly normal to cry, mope and feel depressed about it. However, one must always remember that there is always a rainbow after the rain. That even though it feels like the wold around you is collapsing to destruction, its just a part of life. Each heartbreak is a chance to learn more about yourself and how you deal with it.
Sources:
wikiHow to Get Over a Breakup retrieved from:
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up
‘It’s Over!’ 10 Breakup Survival Tips to Get You Through It retrieved from:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheri-meyers/breakup_b_1726268.html
6 psychologically proven ways to get over your ex retrieved from:
http://www.thisisinsider.com/how-to-get-over-a-break-up-psychology-2017-1/#2-pick-up-your-reading-glasses-2